A DAY IN THE LIFE: Family

For a summary of what I’m hoping to accomplish in this blog series (in the second week of every month of 2018), I recommend reviewing my explanation here.

I started my last post in this mini-series with a statement on discipleship: “It is the most meaningful work that I have done in over 17 years of ministry.”

Let me now write a post about the most meaningful thing I have ever done (and will ever do) with my life: family. I realized that I should have followed the February discussion on travel with this discussion on family. One of the most common questions I get about my travel schedule is about the impact on my family (and rightfully so).

I wish I could say I’ve always had the perspective that I mention above. Beyond simply giving lip service to the idea that “family is most important,” it is something that the weight of parenting and fatherhood continues to teach me. I also wish I could in any way imply that I’ve gotten really good at this whole “putting family first” thing, but rest assured — I cannot make such a claim.

But I can say that my recent change in vocational role and its accompanying demand on travel has become a gift. Because I am home less often, I am far more intentional about the times when I am home; I find I am much more present as a father and a husband these days. And here comes another wish: I wish it didn’t have to be that way. I wish I could be as intentional about my family time no matter what my schedule looks like. How frustrating that has been!

But about all that wishing. I find that parenting and husbanding (is that a word? [Editor’s note: Not yet.]) from a place of guilt, shame, and regret is simply exhausting. Our lives are full of “should haves” and “ought tos,” and I know that for most of us, those feelings hide most prominently in the world of family. (Can I get a witness?) I want to parent and husband from a place of overflow and freedom — a place of joy and wonder. So let’s resolve to leave all of those “I wish” statements where they belong… apparently right at the beginning of this post.

About intentionality with my wife. I have begun to learn how to ask questions about her needs and her perspectives. I’ve even learned how to ask those questions not just because I’m trying to “do my duty,” but because I really care about understanding how she feels. How has she felt about my travel? How does she see my efforts to parent? What does she see about my stress and energy levels? What does she dream about for our family and our marriage? I wish it hadn’t taken me almost a decade of marriage before I figured out how to do this well (and I still have so much further to go). Oops! There’s another one of those wishful statements!

About intentionality with my kids. When I’m home, one of the first things I do is schedule into my week two things: quality time with my kids (sometimes together, sometimes separately) and time to help coach them in their extra-curricular activities. While Becky carries this load when I’m gone, I think it’s really important to find time to be present as a dad in those areas of life. I want to hang with my kids to have special time to cuddle and do fun things. I also want to be there to encourage Zeke in Cub Scouts and guide Abigail through her pursuit of the violin.

I’ve found that this intentionality has given me things to celebrate, rather than simply wish for. And I’m grateful for that.

Here is a fun video diary of some of the things we got to do over the last few months:

My Favorite Translation

I often get asked which translation I like to use for my study of the Text. There are many different ways of answering this question, but none of them truly do.

First, there is the NIV (particularly the 1984 edition, now known as NIV84). This is the translation I use the most, by far. This isn’t so much by choice as it is familiarity. I grew up with the NIV84. I hear the verses and remember my memory verses from the NIV84. I studied under Ray Vander Laan and the Bible we all used was an NIV84. Again, this decision wasn’t made because it was the “best” translation. It was made because of familiarity.

In Bible college, the accepted translation for much of our study was the NASB. In short, I hate the NASB — for many reasons, one of them would probably be my negative feelings toward homework.

I continue to be impressed by the ESV. Time and time again in my class, when I try to catch a translation error (a dangerous game to play — the people who translated the Text are not stupid), the students who have an ESV are usually sitting with the word translated correctly, foiling my plans.

All in all, I still find that the newest, updated NIV is one of my favorites. It continues to be my “go-to” Bible and probably will for some time. I do love to brush up on my Hebrew understanding by reading the Orthodox Jewish Bible (and even Stern’s Complete Jewish Bible, as well). And nothing can beat sitting down with a good cup of coffee and the Message (I prefer the “Remix” edition). And please don’t get me started with all the whiners out there who scream about “paraphrases.” It’s the art of translation, people; on some level, it’s all a paraphrase. That’s how translation works.

But that’s not what this blog post is about.

No, I want to come and publicly declare to the world what my favorite translation of the Scriptures has always been. There is one translation that has topped them all throughout my study.

My mom.

My mom has spent her entire life trying to impress what she understands about God onto her children. She has taken the commandments of God and incarnated them for the family to see. She has learned about God’s compassion and she has shown us compassion. She has learned about God’s forgiveness and she has never failed to model forgiveness to us. She has learned about God’s faithfulness and she has never ceased to be faithful.

My mom has never translated the Text from the Hebrew into the English. My mom has never parsed a Greek verb in her life.

But my mom has spent her life translating the Text for her family.

My wife has often commented at how frustrating it can be to feel so guilty that she doesn’t have time to study the Text like I do. The Jews teach that while the men of the family race off to school to learn the Text and pass it on to their families, the women are busy putting it into practice.

While I sit in my office studying the nuances of a Text that changes lives, the great women of my life have been busy living it. While I prepare to teach others, they already started teaching long ago.

So if I might take a break from our blog series, it would be worth it to pause and say thank you to my mom. You are the best translation I have ever had the privilege to experience. Thanks for your commitment. Thanks for your dedication. Thanks for never giving up on any of us — but even more importantly, never giving up on God.

Thanks, Mom. We love you.

Happy Mother’s Day.

XOXO