Choices v. Circumstances

Note: It may be helpful to read my introduction to this series in order to have some context and understand my disclaimers. You can find that post here.



This video was short and to the point. To be honest, I was so refreshingly surprised by Rowe’s proposition in this video, and I couldn’t agree more. Some people make horrible mistakes. I am a person who believes in second chances, and so do most of my readers. When people make mistakes and then respond to those mistakes appropriately, they should be given the opportunity to keep building on that positive momentum. Some of the greatest contributions to this world will come because of some of our worst errors.

What I love about what Rowe did here was that he did more than just agree to an idea. He didn’t just nod his head and decide not to get in the way of someone’s rehabilitation; he actually put his foundation out there to help the person be successful.

To be honest, if any of us are going to rebuild from our major mistakes, we are going to need more than just the tacit agreement of our right to do so. We are going to need proactive and compassionate help from others investing in our success. 

The math doesn’t seem to work right. You take one negative (a person’s mistake) and add it to another negative (some other person’s sacrificial investment), and it seems like you should be losing ground and ringing up negative growth. And yet, the Kingdom economy doesn't work that way. It takes those two negative variables and turns it, somehow, into positive growth — often exponential in nature.

Is it possible we somehow end up even better by responding to mistakes properly than if we would have done it by the book in the first place? I think it is.

I know this series is supposed to be about conventional wisdom, but sometimes that wisdom takes us right into discovering some post-conventional truths, as well.

Top 12 of CiHD: #1

For a summary of what I’m hoping to accomplish in this blog series (the first week of every month of 2018), I recommend reviewing my explanation here.

This is it! We’ve travelled this 2018 path of the Top 12 Blog Posts at Covered in His Dust and we have arrived at the end of our list — the most viewed post in my blog’s history. The winner of this title is the blog I wrote on the Resurrection back at the end of August 2015. The post was titled “Empty” and you can read the original post here.

So, for one last time, let’s remember what I’ll try to do.

In this series, as we look at each post, I want to ask three questions: why, what, and what else? Why do I think these posts got so many views; why were others drawn to them? What do I hope people found when they got here; what do I hope they heard? Finally, what else have I learned about this; what else would I say about these ideas?

WHY THIS POST?

Well, if you would have asked me about which post I had hoped would get the most views, it would have been this one. I am a big believer that the most important truth, the most profound reality, the pinnacle of all theology and of the Kingdom is the resurrection. There are many theologians who talk about the crucifixion as being the most central to theology, that everything revolves around the work of Jesus on the cross. Many of these theologians are men and women I respect very deeply. But I respectfully disagree.

The apostle Paul did not say that without the crucifixion, our faith is in vain. No, he said that without the resurrection, our faith is in vain. That’s a strong assertion to make and it drives my theology.

Having said that, I wonder if there are other reasons the page views were driven up. I don’t feel like it was one of my best written posts. Are people that driven and interested in the resurrection? That hasn’t been my experience, typically. I can’t seem to find any unique or unusual words or phrases that would have caught some other Google search. Did people think I was posting about how I was feeling empty and so they were driven to click in and read? That could be.

WHAT DO I HOPE THEY FOUND?

Well, the truth and power of the resurrection is really, in a lot of ways, a mystery. Part of the reason we don’t get more excited about it is because there is so much about it that we don’t understand. Much of the last century has been misdirected in simply trying to prove the historicity of the event. This is a shame, as the power of resurrection doesn’t lie in intellectually proving that it happened. No, the power of the resurrection lies in realizing what it means for our daily walks, trusting that great truth to be real, and leaning into the consequences.

Even I struggled (then and now) to write about the resurrection in such a way that captures the power of this great truth. To that end, I recommend a great book called Surprised by Hope by NT Wright. It does a good job of talking about the resurrection in a western way that helps us capture some of the applicable ramifications of the resurrection.

WHAT ELSE WOULD I SAY?

I would talk about the power of hope.

The story of God’s people, all the way back to the story of Abram, is a story about hope. It’s a story about people who believe there is more going on — that more is possible than simply the concrete thing we experience in the Order of Brokenness. This reality is deeper and greater than a battle between optimism and pessimism. This isn’t about whether or not the glass is half-full or half-empty.

This is about whether or not you believe the glass was meant to be full — and, no matter what happens, will be full again.

The resurrection is about what you fundamentally believe is true about the world. What is the truest true? What is the realest real? What is the thing that if you burned away all of the dross, would remain? Does love win? Does life end in death? Or is death not really an end? And no, I’m not just talking about what happens when we die. I’m talking about the true order of things.

Here. Now. When we are alive.

When the Order of Death rears its ugly head, is it a roar of triumph, or is it the gasping and grasping of a creature whose days are numbered?

When you encounter greed and selfishness, are you dismayed? Or are you grounded — as a Child of the Resurrection — in a truth that what you are looking at is a fleeting shadow? And does this change the way you live?

It should. It should make us more selfless. More generous. It should make us better priests. It should prepare us for Kingdom, making us conduits of God’s redeeming work. It should rid us of fear and equip us to lay our lives down — because we understand that there really is no way to lose our life.

Maybe this is the reason the Rabbi said the only way to save your life is to lose it.

A DAY IN THE LIFE: Personal Time

For a summary of what I’m hoping to accomplish in this blog series (in the second week of every month of 2018), I recommend reviewing my explanation here.

“OK, Marty, but what do you like to do for FUN?”

I get this question a lot when I talk about my life. It’s a good question and it’s important for all of us to find space to do things that we love — personal space built to refresh us and let us simply be who we are, unplugged.

This part of my life used to be a lot larger, that is for sure. Some of that is OK. I love my job and find it incredibly fulfilling. There are many parts of my job that don’t feel like a job at all. Moments when I get to teach, preach, or speak to a group of people are awesome times that fill up my tank. It is what I am made to do. I also find that whatever free space I have is going more and more to my children. I think God is teaching me to be OK with this. I’m not sure any alternatives are the right option. My children are becoming my joy and that is just fine.

However, it’s still important to make sure you don’t always have to be “on” all the time. In years past, I used to enjoy major commitments to different video games. I had a long, long affair with World of Warcraft that than turned toward Star Wars: The Old Republic (yes, I was an MMORPG guy) and I’ve had my seasons where I flirt with Skyrim or Call of Duty, but those are short-lived. Too often as I’ve grown older, these relatively brief seasons turn into watching different TV shows or documentaries.

I do enjoy the Cincinnati Bengals whenever I can (which isn’t very often the way that they play).

And I have some other vices that involve tobacco pipes and distilleries, but we don’t need to pull that apart here.

One favorite hobby of mine comes around each fall and involves solitude, silence, and beautiful mountain scenery — hunting. I recently finished another season of hunting and enjoy this annual activity so very much. I love fall/winter, I love the mountains, I love the practical nature of filling my family’s freezer with meat that I harvested myself and can be confident was taken and butchered humanely (I am not trying to offend my vegetarian brothers and sisters; I respect you very much). I enjoy guns and the sport of hunting (while not acting like common-sense gun legislation is a ridiculous conversation). [My goodness, why all the disclaimers? What a world we live in.]

At any rate, I do make space for personal enjoyment. I love lots of things, but I also love hunting and here is my short video. (Don’t worry, there’s no bloody animal at the end.)

Top 12 of CiHD: #2

For a summary of what I’m hoping to accomplish in this blog series (the first week of every month of 2018), I recommend reviewing my explanation here.

We’re down to the last two posts in the Top 12 Blog Posts at Covered in His Dust series. Today, we’ll look at the second-most-viewed post in the history of my blog. Just what is the second-most-viewed post, you ask? Well, it’s an old post on the book of Obadiah. You can read the original post here.

Wait… what? Obadiah? You’ve got to be kidding.

I’m not kidding, but more on that in a moment.

In this series, as we look at each post, I want to ask three questions: why, what, and what else? Why do I think these posts got so many views; why were others drawn to them? What do I hope people found when they got here; what do I hope they heard? Finally, what else have I learned about this; what else would I say about these ideas?

WHY THIS POST?

I have absolutely no idea.

I couldn’t even begin to offer a respectable guess on why this was my second-most-read post. I can’t find any keywords that jump off the page. I can’t think of any topical connections. While the ancient city of Petra may have some draw to it, I’m not sure it would justify that kind of viewership.

What about the old Christian rock band? Yeah, I don’t think so, either (although you're welcome for that link).

Moving along…

WHAT DO I HOPE THEY FOUND?

I hope the reader found a helpful dialogue about a book that we spend very little time in. Writing about these prophets is fun because a person could count the number of sermons or lessons they’ve heard on Obadiah on one hand (if there were any to count at all). So to bring an unexcavated portion of the Text out and shine a flashlight on it is a great discipline to be a part of. I hope that experience was beneficial for my readers.

I also hope this conversation on a seldom-talked-about book of the Bible provided a new look at a conversation that we do have often — that is, how we treat other human beings, no matter who they are. These conversations or behavioral soundbites can become like white noise in our world of spiritual development. We hear the “be nice to others” lesson so much that it loses its potency. A book like Obadiah has the potential to jar us to attention because of the unusual setting where the conversation takes place. The context is like its own inductive teaching.

WHAT ELSE WOULD I SAY?

I think I would be tempted to wax eloquent on how this post is even more applicable now than it was when I first wrote it. The original was posted on June 4, 2014, in a much different world than we live in today. In the last four years, a few things have changed politically, ecclesiologically, and digitally — and mostly not for the better. We now seem to demonstrate even less ability to show the minimal amount decency and respect to others. Quite simply, we need to figure out how to disagree and still have a dialogue. We need to figure out to the find the humanity in our brother/sister and not demonize their perspective or their history. We need to figure out how to learn from each other and seek understanding like buried treasure.

And that means this book has a deeply serious message for us: God expects a certain amount of human decency from all people — how much more the people of God! It is not OK for human beings to treat other human beings in need with disdain or negligence. I have always felt like the words that fell from Cain’s lips in Genesis — “Am I my brother’s keeper?” — are the words that sit unspoken by the people of Edom in Obadiah. And God’s response is telling: “Yes, you are your brother’s keeper.” We all have to look out for our brothers, our half-brothers, our distant cousins, and even our enemies.

It doesn’t matter if the person you are talking to wears a MAGA hat or voted for Hillary. It doesn’t matter if they are pre-millennial, post-tribulation, Muslim, or Baptist. They are people; they are divine image bearers with thoughts and values that lead to convictions, just like you. There is a shared humanity being lost and I have great faith that our children are going to teach us how to reclaim it. My prayer is that their instruction will come in time, before the condemnation of Obadiah passes for too many of us Edomites.

PULL UP A CHAIR: Stories on Community

For a summary of what I’m hoping to accomplish in this blog series (in the fourth week of every month of 2018), I recommend reviewing my explanation here.

Impact Campus Ministries hired Karl Moritz to plant a team at the University of Montana in Missoula, MT at the beginning of 2017. Karl's been in a fundraising phase since then and demonstrated a true commitment to our vision as an organization. He and Gretchen have been an unbelievable asset to our ICM family and his presence is a wonderful difference-maker for us. Recently, Karl's family began to walk the path of having a family member who is battling cancer. Their journey has been an inspiration to many and I asked Karl to reflect on his observations about community for our post this month.

Going back as far as I can remember, some of my first memories were of our family home being filled my with my father’s co-workers. He worked for a church and these people were his work community, our family’s spiritual community, and they were our friends.

Being raised in and around the church meant that I had built-in community surrounding me. There were always people nearby to call me out on something or give me praise. Away from my family structure, I was involved in youth group that provided a fun and safe community, as well.

Fast forward a few years when I moved away from home to college, I lost that community that had surrounded me for years. I was on my own, making poor decisions, and it took me many years, three moves, and two different campuses to find my community again. Those years were rough. The best community I found was off campus at The Alpha Omega house, a community house in Missoula established on Christian principles, run by a couple that love and cherish students.

About ten years ago now I met my wife and our community formed through church and small groups. Three years ago, our small group was at a crossroads. We were craving more and started listening to BEMA long before knowing Marty. Through a series of events, I had the opportunity to start as a Recruit with Impact which has changed the way I view a lot of things in life.

Our close friends encourage, support, and love us. Our Impact family prays with and for us and is always thinking of ways to help me in the position that I’m in. With fundraising, our family, close network, and community rally around us to remind us that we are doing the right thing. When life gets too hard and I consider a break from fundraising, my fellow staff members and my boss tells me it is OK to take a break. Impact values me and my community more than my “job.”

So today we lean into our community so that our family can continue to grow. We are comfortable having hard conversations about how it feels to lose a loved one slowly through cancer. We charge into discussion about why I am striving to do ministry but rather working full time. And the community we have around us is wonderful.

I’m so thankful for the home I have with our Missoula BEMA group, my Impact family, and in our cul-de-sac. Without our community, I would feel lost.

In Matthew 18:20, Jesus says, “For where two or three are gathered in my name, there I am with them.” As we move forward through life we are constantly reminded that we must have good community around us. If we don’t surround ourselves with the right kind of community, those who build us up, we will find community in other places that don’t.

MAKING AN IMPACT: Community

For a summary of what I’m hoping to accomplish in this blog series (in the third week of every month of 2018), I recommend reviewing my explanation here.

Let’s talk about the value of community.

Like last month’s post on character, this is another one of those buzzwords I don’t think too many people are going to disagree with. We might call it relationships or fellowship or community, but we all value people, don’t we?

We might know that it’s important, but I think truly valuing community in our world is incredibly tricky business. Relationships are difficult and messy. There are a lot of things that must get done. In order to truly value community, it’s going to take more than just lip service. It’s going to take a hefty reorganization of our priorities. It means relationships are going to have to take precedent over productivity, consumerism, and busyness.

On one hand, I am deeply committed to the value of community. I have long treatises about the theological and ecclesiological importance of community. Anybody who has participated in my BEMA study or been able to participate in one of our trips to Israel and Turkey will know that “community” is one of my “four pillars” and a major tenet of what I want every participant to take home. I run around the desert and throw my hat as I critique our commitments to true community and caring for each other.

And yet, I think this may be the ICM value I am challenged by the most. To be honest, I like community when it’s on my terms. I like relationships when I get to call the shots. I like the idea when it is convenient and not messy.

Don’t we all?

This value at Impact Campus Ministries does not speak of the buzzword or shallow commitment to relationships. This value is not on our vision posters for the times it is convenient, tidy, and on our own terms. The value of community is stated for all of those times when it is none of these things.

This value says that we will be there for one another when we need help — any kind of help.

This value says that we will prioritize relationship over rightness.

This value says that we will try to work together whenever possible.

This value says that we will avoid working apart because it is easier or more expedient.

This value says that we will care not about what you can do, but who you are.

This value says that we are not human doings, but human beings.

This value says that we will care about the whole self.

This value says that we are going to fight for your place in the family.

This value says a lot. I have not always lived up to this value well or modeled it to our staff the way that I ought.

Ironically, I have found that the healthiest way for me to hold myself accountable and grow in this area is to make sure I’m surrounded by other members of the family. Ironic, but not counter-intuitive.

I want to become better at community. I have places where I have planted my flag and grown in the last decade of my life. I can say with confidence that I am much, much better at community today than I have been in the past. I could not say with confidence that my life is a beacon for the value of community.

And for this reason, I want to continue to grow and value this more. Will you grow with me?

MAKING AN IMPACT: Character

For a summary of what I’m hoping to accomplish in this blog series (in the third week of every month of 2018), I recommend reviewing my explanation here.

The next value we will talk about with our MAKING AN IMPACT series is one that is stated in almost every organization, is incredibly important, and is yet a struggle for so many churches, organizations, and fellowships. This is the value of CHARACTER.

Why is this such a struggle for the Christian world? I think the short answer is that we are just a bunch of people who are screwed up. That is true, but how many of us are tired of reading what feels like a continuous news feed of Christian organizations that harbor abusers, struggle with sexual conduct, mistreat women, and succumb to other “moral failures”? It’s exhausting.

I think the answer is that theology matters. I won’t be taking this time and space to pull apart the pieces of theology I think are most responsible for these stories, but I will say that our theology is often the bedrock we build our culture on. The way we understand the nature of who God is and what He is doing in the world, the way we understand the nature of humanity, and the way we define the gospel, breeds a particular culture in the missional communities we belong to. If we foster a theology that believes God is looking for the unflinching devotion to a moral code, we will simultaneously breed a culture that puts on a show, afraid to be vulnerable to the struggle we all experience to become the kinds of whole people God has designed us to be.

So what do we do? Impact Campus Ministries has said — like so many others — that we want to be people of integrity and great character. How will we succeed where so many others seem to fail?

A large part of this will reside in our commitment to community and each other (more on this value in another post). The greatest form of accountability will be the fact that we don’t do life (or ministry) alone. Of course, this commitment is only powerful if we trust each other enough to be vulnerable. We have to work hard to build a culture of openness and honesty from the top of our organization all the way down to the bottom. We don’t want to be people who fight for privacy, but fight for each other.

This isn’t to say that privacy is not important or that wisdom would dictate open vulnerability with all people in all circumstances — it would not. But within our family at ICM, we need to learn how to trust each other with our struggles and our failures. This means we can’t be quick to punish others when they slip up, but we also need to be resolute in our commitment to each other, to help each other become the people God is inviting us to become.

Hopefully you can see how well our value of character works alongside the tension of excellence and compassion. We have to have a commitment to excellence in our integrity, but that will only be achieved if we can be gracious in our failures. I really believe that the destructive and harmful failures in character come as the byproduct of a culture that doesn’t foster healthy growth and compassionate belonging. When those things don’t exist, we begin to hide. When we begin to hide, our lack of character begins to fester until it erupts in something horribly destructive.

Unfortunately, this culture of hiding is often cultivated in our faith communities.

We want to be better than this. We want to be the kind of family — brothers and sisters — who make sure we all have a place to belong and that the space can be trusted. We want to build a culture that says, “I am FOR you!” — and doesn’t doubt the sincerity of that stance. Only then can we be honest about who we truly are and who we are trying to become. And only when we are honest can we find family who help us strive to develop as we pursue character in our organization.

This will be an ongoing struggle. We are far from perfect.

But may God bless ICM’s efforts to act justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly [together] with our God.

Top 12 of CiHD: #5

For a summary of what I’m hoping to accomplish in this blog series (the first week of every month of 2018), I recommend reviewing my explanation here.

We’re getting closer and closer to the most-viewed post in the history of my blog! This month in the Top 12 Blog Posts at Covered in His Dust, we’ll look at the fifth-most-viewed post. It was a post titled “JUDE: False Teachers” — and you can find it here.

In this series, as we look at each post, I want to ask three questions: why, what, and what else? Why do I think this post got so many views; why were others drawn to it? What do I hope people found when they got here; what do I hope they heard? Finally, what else have I learned about this; what else would I say about these ideas?

WHY THIS POST?

For me, seeing this post on the list makes sense on many levels. While I don't know if there is a single reason that predominantly drove the number of views, I would guess it is a combination of both of the following (and maybe others).

First, I think Jude is a book shrouded in mystery for many Bible students. This short letter raises so many questions for those who dare to dig in to the details that it has to be a book people are Googling and searching for left and right. What is this reference about the body of Moses? Why the fascination with Enoch? Why does it feel like there are so many things going on “behind the scenes” with the book of Jude? While we talked about much of this in the original post, I’m sure it’s driving a lot of interest in finding posts and articles discussing the content of Jude.

Second, I think anytime you write a post titled “False Teachers” in our day and age of Evangelicalism, you are going to get some views. We have such an unhealthy (most of the time) fascination with doctrinal correctness and those who color outside the lines that Christian readers go a little gaga over the need to categorize people into one group or another. As we’ve chatted about before, the concern, as we are familiar with it, is not one that existed in the apostolic age and mainly arose as the result of losing our Jewish roots as a movement and dealing with the impact of the Gnostic Crisis in the second century and beyond. But let’s pull some of that apart below.

WHAT DO I HOPE THEY FOUND?

Some might ask, “How in the world can you say this wasn’t a concern in the apostolic age when the book of Jude (and others!) write about the need to be aware of false teachers?!”

This is where the irony runs thick. In the New Testament, a thoughtful examination of the arguments against false teachers will reveal that the danger is not in its orthodoxy, but in the orthopraxy. Obviously, the orthodoxy is important; without a doubt, the content of teaching drives our behavior. But the danger of the teaching is not in what it gets wrong, but in how it leads us to live. Consider the constant rebuke that exists from the Evangelical Doctrine Police of the world today. Is there any concern for the “living out” of a theologian’s position? Do we write posts ad nauseam about whether or not a teacher demonstrates the fruit of the Spirit in their life?

No. Too often, the lifestyle of a teacher and the fruit that comes out of his or her ministry is not the source of critique or the concern of those so driven to a flurry. They are worked up about the theological accuracy of a belief. They are worried about how it lines up against a creed or a statement of faith. But this is not what concerned the authors of the New Testament. What concerned them was that a person’s theology led them to be exclusive and inhospitable. It caused them not to show love to others and led them to pursue self-indulgence rather than selfless generosity. This kind of behavior was seen as a grave threat to the gospel. In the letters of John, this criticism was about whether or not a teacher led his students to be more loving. In Jude, the concern is that the teaching leads to debauchery and self-indulgence.

In all instances, the writers spend zero time critiquing the theology that lies behind the behavior; they spend their time critiquing the fruit of the tree itself. This is a thought that I hope people found when they got to this post.

WHAT ELSE WOULD I SAY?

I’m not sure I would add much else to this post over I’ve said above. I really do wish we (in the world of western theology) can demonstrate a greater ability to navigate this conversation in a way that mirrors the teaching of the Apostles and writers of the New Testament. This isn’t just an idea that shows up in writings about false teachers. It’s not just a theme we find in John, Peter, and Jude. As mentioned above, it’s also present in the teachings Paul. But maybe most importantly, it was a theme in the teachings of Jesus.

Jesus told us himself that you cannot pick grapes from thorn bushes or figs from thistles. Jesus said that something can look one way on the outside, but the fruit is what gives it away. It might look like a chicken, but if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and lays duck eggs — we have a duck. It appears that his disciples understood this and later applied it to their experiences with false teachers. They were not primarily concerned with whether the words were right. They were more concerned with whether or not it (i.e., the teacher and his students) looked like Jesus.

It seems we have a lot to learn about whether or not our actions look like Jesus; Evangelicals are having to spend more and more time trying to explain why they are right because the words are correct. We seem to be spending an awful lot of time arguing about appropriate interpretations of Romans 13 and visions of heaven with walls. I think people like Jude would look right at it and say, “That’s easy. I don’t care what your words say; however you’re living out the words doesn’t look at all like Jesus.” I think Jude would find a lot of false teaching.

PULL UP A CHAIR: Stories on Milieu

For a summary of what I’m hoping to accomplish in this blog series (in the fourth week of every month of 2018), I recommend reviewing my explanation here.

Eric Wright is the Team Leader for our ICM team on the Palouse. They minister to students at the University of Idaho, Washington State University, and Lewis-Clark State College. Eric and Mitzi were on the Palouse more than a decade ago when Real Life on the Palouse came to town to plant their church. Eric built an incredibly productive relationship with RLOTP and has enjoyed the benefits of the intentional relationships that come from that partnership. I asked him if he's be willing to share his perspective on our pursuit of MILIEU.

One of my favorite aspects of campus ministry revolves around the opportunities to rub shoulders with those who believe differently than I do. I have been blessed with mentors who have challenged me to read and listen to great thinkers and writers who reside on the opposite side of positions I hold. Civility and the ability to listen to understand the thoughts and opinions of others is key in our day and age to move the kingdom forward. This anomaly of bipartisanship only occurs when we choose to place ourselves in the nexus of diversity and ideas in our society. This nexus is the university campus in America.

While the word milieu may sound uncomfortable to the American ear, the concept of a physical or social setting in which something occurs or develops is not an altogether new concept for us. The term environment is one we may be more familiar with in our society. The environment in which we grow up helps determine our personality and works to direct our future in positive and negative ways. The milieu of the university campus works to direct the future of our civilization in a similar fashion.

One of my best opportunities to engage in intentional relationships with others on the university campus involves my connection with other student organizations at the University of Idaho. For five years, I had an office space with twenty other student organizations in the student organization center. This space put me in daily communion with students from diverse milieus. For two years, my desk faced the desk of the LGBTQ campus student organization.

This was my first occasion to engage with someone from this community. Being a student myself at the University of Idaho at the time, I had many openings for conversation. I developed a relationship with the organization’s student leaders by choosing to listen to understand and not by trying to win an argument. One of the key moments in my journey in understanding my place in God’s story involved the realization that these students I sat across from are just as much a part of God’s story as I am. God’s story of redemption and resurrection does not belong to my belief community or me but to all creation.

Those students I sat across from were as passionate about the restoration of community and our planet as I was. This actualization of the expansiveness of the breadth and width of those included in God’s story brought me to an understanding of milieu. One encounter with the student leader centered on my asking if there was anything for which I could pray about for them. The student questioned my motive by asking if I was praying against her lifestyle and for her world to be turned upside down.

I sensed the weight of my response and I took a moment to answer. I shared that my prayer for her was that God would bless her life and would show Himself and His love to her and that she may have a clear understanding of His love for her. Clearly this student was not expecting that response and it opened up even more conversations about the kingdom of God and her place in it. Moving the kingdom of God and conversations such as these forward hinges on our choice to engage others in the story.

This moment would not have been possible had it not been for those in my story who have encouraged me to listen to understand and lead with love. As a campus minister, one of my duties is to come alongside students and challenge them to listen to understand and lead with love. These actions give God room to move in the hearts of those with whom we intentionally step into relationships. It is God’s work to change hearts and move His kingdom forward; ours is to step out of our comfort zones and into relationship.

MAKING AN IMPACT: Milieu

For a summary of what I’m hoping to accomplish in this blog series (in the third week of every month of 2018), I recommend reviewing my explanation here.

With today’s post, we wrap up our approach toward reaching this generation of college students, something we call Message, Mode, and Milieu (Mx3). In order to reach young adults today, we believe we have to be able to tell the whole story of God and His invitation to join. This narrative-based approach to the Text is something we call message. We also believe we have to teach this in a way that stimulates the mind, heart, and body; this approach is something we refer to as mode, and we talked about it last month and heard Zack tell a great story about his experience on the BEMA Trip.

This month, we talk about the last component, something we call MILIEU. I remember the first time Bill Westfall presented this material (and many times after that), and I laughed at his word choice and his commitment to alliteration. “Milieu” (pronounced mil-yoo) isn’t a word we typically use in everyday conversation, and I’ve only recently been able to consistently spell it correctly, so it would behoove us to make sure we examine its definition. Siri tells me that milieu means a person’s social environment.

Our social connections continue to be what has the most sustainable potential to impact us. Many sources of wisdom tell us to surround ourselves with the people we want to become. While many mothers have encouraged us to consider the practical sapience (how about that for a word you need to look up?) of, “if your friend told you to jump off of a bridge, would you do it,” we must also routinely have that conversation because of the power of the communal voices with which we surround ourselves.

Community is important. Because of this, we have to be very intentional about the relationships we build with others. ICM has defined milieu as intentional relationships with others in the story. This idea of social networking is intertwined with our idea of message. If God is telling a story and is inviting us to join it, then that means there must be others who are already in the story and others waiting to jump in. As we talked about with discipleship, there is always somebody in front of you, and always somebody behind you.

When you consider all of this, you realize how dangerous it is for a campus minister to just run with a flock of students. If it is simply one campus minister and a bunch of college-age students, the milieu is undeniably weak! In fact, depending on the personality of the campus minister, this is downright dangerous. Another campus minister was talking to me recently, following a workshop on discipleship I had done, about the danger of becoming “cult-like” in our adherence to rabbinical principles. It is incredibly important to realize the dangers of this! I went on to talk to him about how important my commitment to the local church is in the health of my ministry. I personally need to be surrounded by other pastors and leaders who will let me know if I start to get a little crazy. I need my students (and myself) to be surrounded by older folks and children, educated and uneducated, rich and poor, conservative and liberal.

Why? Because diversity is what allows us to grow and gain wisdom. It is in encountering differing worldviews and opinions that I am kept humble and forced to consider other ways of viewing things. It is through this diversity that I learn how to respect others. The Spirit moves and bears the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control as I interact with people who see things differently from me. Diversity is what protects us from the close-minded tribalism that threatens to destroy our world from all directions.

And it is this diversity that will help mold and shape young people into the leaders they are going to become. Just because we have intentional relationships with others who aren’t like us certainly doesn’t mean we agree with those people on everything — or even lots of things. It just means we respect their humanity and see our own development bound up in their own.

I need my computer science student to be rubbing shoulders with the IT Director of Schweitzer Engineering Laboratories. I need my Bernie-Sanders-supporting sophomore to listen to the reasoning behind a Donald-Trump-supporting farmer. I need a newly baptized freshman serving in the children’s ministry with toddlers who are being exposed to a Jesus she only recently met. I need older, more experienced people mentoring my students. I need my students mentoring others in the church. And we all need the mentors to be learning from those they are leading. Why? Because it is this living Eucharist table that reminds us of the world that we are called to change.

If we Impact the U within the context of milieu, we will Impact the World.

A DAY IN THE LIFE: Family

For a summary of what I’m hoping to accomplish in this blog series (in the second week of every month of 2018), I recommend reviewing my explanation here.

I started my last post in this mini-series with a statement on discipleship: “It is the most meaningful work that I have done in over 17 years of ministry.”

Let me now write a post about the most meaningful thing I have ever done (and will ever do) with my life: family. I realized that I should have followed the February discussion on travel with this discussion on family. One of the most common questions I get about my travel schedule is about the impact on my family (and rightfully so).

I wish I could say I’ve always had the perspective that I mention above. Beyond simply giving lip service to the idea that “family is most important,” it is something that the weight of parenting and fatherhood continues to teach me. I also wish I could in any way imply that I’ve gotten really good at this whole “putting family first” thing, but rest assured — I cannot make such a claim.

But I can say that my recent change in vocational role and its accompanying demand on travel has become a gift. Because I am home less often, I am far more intentional about the times when I am home; I find I am much more present as a father and a husband these days. And here comes another wish: I wish it didn’t have to be that way. I wish I could be as intentional about my family time no matter what my schedule looks like. How frustrating that has been!

But about all that wishing. I find that parenting and husbanding (is that a word? [Editor’s note: Not yet.]) from a place of guilt, shame, and regret is simply exhausting. Our lives are full of “should haves” and “ought tos,” and I know that for most of us, those feelings hide most prominently in the world of family. (Can I get a witness?) I want to parent and husband from a place of overflow and freedom — a place of joy and wonder. So let’s resolve to leave all of those “I wish” statements where they belong… apparently right at the beginning of this post.

About intentionality with my wife. I have begun to learn how to ask questions about her needs and her perspectives. I’ve even learned how to ask those questions not just because I’m trying to “do my duty,” but because I really care about understanding how she feels. How has she felt about my travel? How does she see my efforts to parent? What does she see about my stress and energy levels? What does she dream about for our family and our marriage? I wish it hadn’t taken me almost a decade of marriage before I figured out how to do this well (and I still have so much further to go). Oops! There’s another one of those wishful statements!

About intentionality with my kids. When I’m home, one of the first things I do is schedule into my week two things: quality time with my kids (sometimes together, sometimes separately) and time to help coach them in their extra-curricular activities. While Becky carries this load when I’m gone, I think it’s really important to find time to be present as a dad in those areas of life. I want to hang with my kids to have special time to cuddle and do fun things. I also want to be there to encourage Zeke in Cub Scouts and guide Abigail through her pursuit of the violin.

I’ve found that this intentionality has given me things to celebrate, rather than simply wish for. And I’m grateful for that.

Here is a fun video diary of some of the things we got to do over the last few months: