The Power of "No."

As this Year of Learning continues for me in my ministry, I have recently been contemplating the significance of balance.  Ministry continues to succeed in our core areas, and with that success comes endless opportunities to minister in other areas.  Some of those opportunities need to be pursued; others need to be shelved for somebody else or some other time.

One of the things I learned very early in my ministry experience was how to identify what fit with my/our core values and purposes (alas, to my chagrin, thank you Rick Warren and "Purpose Driven [Everything]").  However, there is a whole lot of things that I'm finding recently that do fit with my/our values and purposes, they do warrant some conversation, and they are convicting situations.

It's drawn my attention to the importance of knowing how and when to say, "No."

We -- and by "we" I mean individuals, teams, and organizations -- all have a certain capacity.  We have a literal point of fracture capacity and we have a healthy, optimum running standard capacity.  No matter which one we are referring to, the undeniable truth is that we have limits.

One of the things that Impact Campus Ministries (and I myself as an individual, hence my love of ICM and my job) holds dear is their commitment to pursuing and modeling a healthy and vibrant life with God.  One very big part of this is having to make sure we stay within our limits and are serving God from a healthy place.  Heroes for ICM will not be people that strive for superhuman feats, but people who have a consistent walk with the Creator that mirrors His desire and intent, modeling that for others.

This doesn't mean that there won't be seasons where God calls us to "suck it up" and work harder than usual or push our thresholds for a short time.  But as a general rule, we all want to find a rhythmic "hum" that puts us in healthy relationship with God and with others.

To stay committed to this value will mean that we become very familiar with the word "No."

When we find ourselves stretched to capacity (whether healthy, literal, or otherwise), we are forced to make decisions when new opportunities arise.

We can say yes to the new opportunity.  However, if we are stretched to capacity, this decision is going to cost you.  We like to ignore this simple fact, but it will kill us over the long run if we do not keep it in view.  The decision to move forward is going to cost you -- something is going to have to give.  You will have to give up something currently on your plate and replace it with the new opportunity.   You will have to reorganize priorities and make space for this new opportunity to breathe.  You can deny that such a cost exists, but the decision to move forward WILL cost you somewhere.

We can say no to the new opportunity.  I wont deal here with all of the secondary options that such a decisions opens up.  Things like: Who else can do this?  What is my responsibility to this need (and do I have one)?  What do I have the capacity to assist with?  I have learned that one of the things that I needed to realize was that saying "no" was not the same as saying that the opportunity wasn't good or worth time.  Every good idea is just that -- a good idea.  But I don't have the time or space to deal with that appropriately.  I am not willing to pay the price to take that on.

We can ignore the opportunity and decision that awaits.  This is often tempting, but incredibly foolish.  First of all, it doesn't respect the opportunity for what it is.  Second, it will usually continue to nag at our inboxes, our psyche, and our calendars if we don't deal with it; we still end up expending energy on the opportunity.  And third, it robs us of the chance (as painstaking as it might be) to remind ourselves of what's important, what our values happen to be, and who we are called to be in the Kingdom.  This is hard work, but well worth the decision.

We can ignore our capacity and just take more in, continuing to pile and pile onto our plate, attempting to deal with it all, crumbling under the pressures of our personal health, callings, expectations, values, and fulfillment.  We can ignore the simple fact that the costs mentioned above exist, but it doesn't remove the cost from being exacted from our experiences.  It will cost you somewhere.  It will destroy your personal health, your walk with God, and the real tragedy is the ones that will feel that cost the most will usually be your family and those closest to you.  It will cost you in overall productivity, so that even what you are doing well begins to suffer.  And/Or it will cost you in the area of the new opportunity, which will damage reputations, crush expectations and rob you of fulfillment in what God has called you to do.


I have been experiencing this reality this year.  There are lots of incredible opportunities at my door; the biggest frustration is that most of these opportunities came because either I created them or they presented themselves because something else that was a part of our ministry succeeded.  These are good opportunities!  I wish I could be more involved in the BEMA House than I am.  I wish I could be more proactive in building new relationships with more students and church staff.

But to say yes to any of those things would mean to pay the price in some other area.  I refuse to make a sacrifice that compromises my personal and organizational boundaries.  This has required some "No's" in a few areas that crushed me initially, but has been very liberating and empowering in helping me know who exactly I am and what I am called to do.

I am at my healthy capacity.  I am about God, the Text, my family, and discipleship (in no particular order).  And if I'm at capacity, then to say yes is to simultaneously say no to some part of the above list.

To say no is to say yes to the path God has designed for me.